Cauliflower Mashed “Fauxtatoes”

It’s a bird!… It’s a plane!… It’s a… oh wait… it’s just cauliflower. Again.

So apparently white potatoes were just re-added to the Whole30 approved foods list… but here’s the thing… I still prefer cauliflower any day of the week. I just feel so much better knowing that I’m eating the super-freak of a veggie that’s awesome at mimicking every other food under the sun. Viva la resistance!

So today I present you with cauliflower mashed “fauxtatoes”, my Paleo version of one of the best-loved comfort food side dishes!

Cauliflower Mashed "Fauxtatoes" | Cook Like a Cavewoman! | Easy Paleo Recipes for Feel-Good Eating

First, chop up a whole head of cauliflower. Yes, a whole head. It seems like a lot, but when it cooks down, it’s not really. I almost ate an entire serving of this stuff by myself one night. Granted, I was ravenously hungry, but… you get my point. So… a whole head. This is probably the messiest part of this recipe. I’ll admit, sometimes I dread having to chop up cauliflower because of the inevitable mess I know it makes… but it’s always worth it in the end. Face the enemy, brave soldier!

Also peel and lightly smash (with the flat side of a knife) a few cloves of garlic, but don’t cut them. The food processor will do that later.

Put all of it in a steamer basket over a boiling inch or two of water. Close the lid, and let it steam for 10 minutes. No peeking!

Cauliflower Mashed "Fauxtatoes" | Cook Like a Cavewoman! | Easy Paleo Recipes for Feel-Good Eating

When it’s done, transfer all of it to your food processor or a high-speed blender. Add the olive oil (or ghee or grass-fed butter), sea salt, and black pepper… and pulse until it looks like mashed potatoes.

Living and cooking with my best friend back in college quickly forced me to realize that not all mashed potatoes are created equally! Some people prefer a thicker, chunkier mash (my personal preference), while others prefer it smooth, creamy, and nearly like baby food (my roommate). I would often make my own mash, because we simply could never agree on how it was supposed to look when it was “done”. Just be wary that the thicker a cauliflower mash is, the grainier the texture will be. Even I like mine a bit more on the creamy side these days! That’s just the nature of the beast.

Done properly, cauliflower mashed “fauxtatoes” look (and almost taste) exactly like the real thing. So much so, in fact, that I kind of wish I never told Mike the first time I made these, just as an experiment to see if he’d notice… Teehee. :P*

Share your thoughts… do you think cauliflower mash could ever fool a non-Paleo eater?

Cauliflower Mashed "Fauxtatoes" | Cook Like a Cavewoman! | Easy Paleo Recipes for Feel-Good Eating

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Cauliflower Mashed "Fauxtatoes"
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Serves: 2 to 3 cups of mash
  1. Roughly chop cauliflower into small florets. Peel and lightly smash the garlic with the flat side of a knife.
  2. Fill a pot with an inch or two of water, and bring to a boil. Place cauliflower florets and garlic cloves together in a steamer basket inside/on top of the pot, cover pot with a lid, and let steam for 10 minutes.
  3. Transfer steamed cauliflower and garlic to a food processor or high-speed blender. Add olive oil, sea salt, and black pepper.
  4. Pulse until the cauliflower mash reaches your desired consistency. (This could be anywhere from a few seconds for thicker mash, to 30 seconds for a super smooth, puree-like mash.)
  5. Serve immediately! Store leftovers in an airtight container in the refrigerator for up to 4 days.

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7 Comments on Cauliflower Mashed “Fauxtatoes”

  1. O, I prepared by same way mashed cauliflower, but i added a a little balsamico, one pinch of Konjac gum ( for water -retaining and binder) and for more taste- replace salt with Feta cheese.
    In such way I replace couscous with cauliflower crumbs ( it’s not exactly same taste, but it’s cut caloric value dramatically)…

  2. You asked if these could fool a non-Paleo eater. I’ve been making and serving these for 30 years…long before I ever heard the word Paleo. They don’t fool people…they still know it’s cauliflower, but the texture mimics mashed potatoes and that’s where the comfort is.

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